Diary Series #3 – La Douleur Exquise

This diary entry is a little personal and quite frankly a little embarrassing. I was debating whether to release this to the world, but I wanted to give you an insight into the ups and downs of travelling. You meet a lot of people on the road and you make a lot friendships, it was only time until you felt something more for someone.

La Douleur Exquise, If you haven’t already guessed is a beautiful romantic French phrase. Translated, it simply means; “exquisite pain”

Hmmm… doesn’t sound so sexy now does it? Well… not unless you’re into that kinda thing.

However, the meaning behind this phrase is more comparable to the emotional pain someone feels when they love someone they cannot have.

So why am I writing about this?

I felt like writing about this because I know for sure that this is something which is common place amongst us travellers and maybe it might resonate with a lot of you. We’d all agree, travelling is a beautiful experience, in-fact, meeting new people is arguably one of the most enjoyable parts of the nomadic lifestyle. However, it does come with its downsides and one of them is making strong relationships and then having to say goodbye.

Whilst on a trip to Tasmania, I happened to experience this this strange in-explainable feeling for someone I hardly even knew. Usually you can pass it off as a silly crush, but this was different. This was my La Douleur Exquise.

Can you fall for someone in five day’s? I have no idea, I can hardly explain my feelings right now, but I sure felt them. My heart knew something I hadn’t even considered. As you meet make your way around the group, making introductions and friendly conversation, it becomes clear who you’re going to get on with.

Without going into too much detail, we hung out pretty much everyday. As the week went on, we talked about life, family, aspirations. We partied, we shared interests and experiences. The more we talked, all I could think is, damn, this girl is beautiful, she’s special. This was an involuntary feeling, it wasn’t forced and I think that’s why it meant so much more.

It was the day before the tour ended and the reality of the tour coming to an end was hard to accept. It wouldn’t be long until we parted ways. I was devastated. I could have romantically declared my feelings for this girl, but I valued our friendship and memories. I didn’t want to be selfish and throw that away for the sake of trying to force something I wanted. Besides, she may not have felt the same way. This is when I felt La Douleur Exquise.

For those of you who have travelled, you’ll know that having a travel romance is a sure death sentence for your heart. Most of us travel alone, we have our own travel plans, ideas and goals. Everyone eventually moves on and we’re stuck feeling confused and lost. Sometimes you have accept and admit to yourself that it’s going to be difficult to maintain a functioning romantic relationship and you have to let them go.

I guess as they say, all good things must come to an end and it’s better to have felt love for someone than to have not felt love at all.

Perhaps some of you would have done things differently, maybe you would have taken that risk, but it just didn’t make sense to me at the time. Do I regret it? Maybe … But for now I’m just glad I made a good friend, perhaps a friend for life and that’s ok with me.

For those of you who can relate to my La Douleur Exquise, I understand your pain and emotional mindset. But we must power through, appreciate the fact that we crossed paths and continue on our own path, perhaps you may cross each other again.

Thanks for reading.

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